Search site


E-mail One: A Frantic State of Opression

11/17/2009 16:31

 

 

People always say, "Patience is a virtue." I've always been the kind of person who just can't wait though. And although I try hard every day to be both empathetic and sympathetic for situations, I do often struggle because of my lack of patience. I understand he is busy, I understand times are tough, and I  am trying to understand that he cannot locate his e-mail address. I have nothing against him (obviously), and I can believe that when he replies he "wants to make sure what he writes is perfect" so he must wait until he has time. But I am only human, and plus being Piscean I often am sensitive, complex and worried. And so I come here today to complain, or if I were to use precision of languge, I come here to write you a wistful e-mail of emotional instability and great concern on my behalf. The best way to start would be to provide a brief synopsis of the emotional state I am in.
It's simple. The whole reason I am so concerned, so worried and so impatient solely lies on the reason of that, well actually you can guess the reason because it is completely obvious that my life centers around him and the absence of his presence (which is a statement some would find "awkward", a word which means poorly written and creative at the same time I suppose) is causing me to go almost completely insane and if not for a sliver of memory and a taste of hope I would be found lying under some sort of sheet somewhere. The fact of the matter is that I am crazily, irrevocably, irreproachably, purely, divinely, unquestionably, perpetually, madly, unreservedly (etc, etc.) in love with him. And be it anything in the entirety of the universe, I will directly and instantaneously do it for him. Being that he is my universe, I might as well incorporate a biology term that fits and say that his absence is increasing my entropy. Being as anabolic as I am, when will my catabolic angel return to hold my head and purify my soul so that this agony and helter-skelter effaces? I do not overexaggerate my love for him, nor the agony it puts me through. Those immeasurable things are most accurately contemplated and written of by me.
One cannot tell me sweet and pleasing news of better futures and happy harmony without me being in disbelief. Well, actually, one must never underestimate how troubled I am. Although our four month anniversary is near and four months seems like such a sliver of time(barely anything compared to the life ahead of me), it still has been forever for someone who lives, thrives, and survives off of someone else. I have not heard from him personally since the first week of school where he spoke of the hot girl in biology (a lovely foot to leave on), I have not seen his face since August, and I have not had alone time with him since July and a brief moment in August. There is no way for me to say how powerfully horrible that is. When he is my everything, the light, the help, the sanity, the smile, the laughter, the hope, the happiness, the comfort, the safety, the protection, the grace, the charm, the glee, and the stars to me. When his words are my reassurence that everything is ok, when his eyes are my heaven in which I lay without worry and in happiness. When his arms are my home and for all this time I've been living on the streets. When his soul is my soul and he holds my heart in his hands. And the silence of his embrace says more to me than all the words in every language in the entire universe. Then this all seems tragic. Then you worry about losing people. The you worry about all the imperfections of the matter involving adults, distances, and time.  
I am so young that I should be able to move on if he left me, but it will not happen. I swear I love him and one must never let me forget that I said and meant forever. Therefore, I cannot help but think that maybe he does not love me anymore. (Although I know he does, and feverishly too!). Therefore, I cannot help but be impatient. I cannot help but cry. I cannot help but sink. And without him, I no longer can swim and must drown. I cannot help but be depressed. I cannot help that I cannot smile, cannot feel beautiful, and cannot live (so now every day I exist rather than live life).
In short, I miss him. In short, I love him. In short, I am impatient. In short, I really need to let him know somehow that this is how much I love him and he can never leave me.
<3 In short, I am _____ _____ ______ ______ and I hearby dedicate my entire life to someone else whom is very special to me and I will always be besides (in theory)
 
 
This e-mail was found in a dear friend of QuirkyGirl's inbox. This friend is a resident of the country of England. We hope you enjoyed.
 

Back